I am retarded

I know the title is not PC but it sums the weekend very well. I don't even know where to start with this debacle. Friday was the TT and I put in a good 21 min effort for 15th place, the course was fun and actualy had a good little climb. Also got some fun ST riding in on the XC and super D.

Saturday Rog and I rode another lap of the XC and Rog burned the flat super D. I was excited for the STXC even though it was at 8 pm and I had to put Eva to bed before driving out to the venue. The course was a 1 minute loop in a flat gravel parking lot with some stadium lights, real creative! So last year a I did 2 STXC's and was top 20 in both which gives me a top 40 placing for the year, I figured this would be a good enough start position to make a fun race out of it. The one assumption I made is that the promoters would follow there own rules, bad assumption. I ended up being called up in the upper 90's of 100 and was on the very last row, a KX 250 would not be able to dig me out of this hole. After a couple laps I was pulled after not even breaking a sweat. So after finally getting to sleep, I dreamt of racing in a national series where the promoters actually cared about anything other than the top 5 riders.

After hanging out with Eva all morning while Rog dominated the old guy experts in the XC, I made it to the venue and was able to talk to the promoter about the bogus call up, this is where it gets good. They simply said "we made a mistake" and "accidentally used the XC call up instead of the STXC", which I later found out was not true. So your telling me I took time off work, drove to AZ, payed my license fee ($150) and entry fee ($100+) and then started at the back of the field and raced for a total of 4 minutes and you don't even have time to talk to me about it. Does NASCAR ever give the pole position away to the wrong guy?, when is the last time you watched a TDF TT and saw the yellow jersey come down the start ramp mid pack? I normally don't get to worked up about this kind of blunder but after the whole USADA/UCI mess and years and years of dealing with this promoters careless attitude, I was on the edge.

So going into Sunday afternoon's XC my morale was not very good and knowing that I would be again called up near the back of a 100+ field on a 40 mile single track course with a 150 meter starting straightaway did not help matters. I was upset by their indifference, sick of there "if your not Kabush your nobody attitude", and ready to pack up and start the drive home.

So to make a long story short, I started the race. I had a much better start than I thought or even new. On the 1st lap I figured I was way back in the field, the pace was very manageable but the heat was oppressive. Into the 2nd lap a rider crashed into me and I was not able to get back on the group I was with and for some reason lost all resolve to continue racing. I noodled around for another lap or so and nobody was passing me, I just figured I was so far back that everyone else had been pulled. I was no longer racing and figured whats the point, If I stop we can get an earleir start on the drive to mesquite. Man was my perception off. After pulling out I found out that I was actually in the 20's after the 1st lap and even after cruising for a while was in 30th and the huge gap behind me was just that, a huge gap in a blown apart field.

I have never been so embarrassed and am still mad at myself for letting the typical NORBA race promoter antics affect my attitude and ultimately performance. My attitude absolutely ruined what could have been a pretty solid race, and I can blame no one mut myself.

We are now home safe and I am working on healing my cracked psyche.

Todays tip:
In a dificult sport like bike racing all the training, coaches, nutrition, rest, equipment, and natural ability in the world, will not lead to results without an acute mental focus. I lost mine for the weekend, did not like how it felt, and hope to get it back.
yeaa!